I was never a girly girl growing up, I wouldn't say I hated all things pink, shiny and makeup but it just never really interested me. When I went to University I started to get into nail polish or moreso really nail art. It was a way to channel my creativity when I was away from home. I met loads of lovely friends through the nail art community. It helped me when I was stressed and anxious. After University my stress levels rose towards their peak, I was anxious most of the time and having panic attacks often. I was in a strange place and didn't know what to do with my life. I had a degree but no job and I was living in a place that I din't know. This was around the time that I lost my love of nail polish. I am not going to go into that now but you can read about it here. It was upset and hurt, my trust of the internet comminity I loved was gone. With this went my love of blogging. Blogging now is something I do about twice a month instead of twice a day and that upsets me even now.
It was around this time that my self confidence was at it's lowest. My skin was horrible and I just couldn't feel at all pretty, sometimes I didn't feel human. I knew I had to do something but what? I started experimenting with some new high brand skincare and that helped me alot, not in the sense that it always worked on my awful skin but it gave me hope that I could combat it. It also gave me something to focus towards. Slowly I started branching out from just skincare into make-up. What first started as a way to conceal the worst slowly turned into looking at lipsticks and eyeshadow. I started to experiment with colour and developing my own style.
Working at Boots helped too, I took a real interest in the beauty department and developed my passion. I pushed myself to know about all the products, to try things out and recommend products to customers. A few months back I had the opportunity of applying as a No7 Advisor, to actually have a job within the make-up industry. If you had told little old me that I would be doing this job I would have laughed at you. But now my job is actually applying make-up to other people. I love it! I love everything it stands for. It is a job not about perfection but making people feel happy and confident in their own skin. The brand isn't about airbrushing it is about real people- people that I get to interact with and make happy even if it is only for the briefest of moments in their day. Everyone needs a little pamper, some time to indulge in themselves and I love giving that to people. This job also allows me to be creative and improve my own skills.. I'm not a perfect flawless make-up artist, I am still learning. But I don't ever think you can stop learning in a profession like this.
Last week I took a selfie, it was the first selfie I was 100% happy with. Sure there are flaws, my eyesight is still buggered and I have a scar on my lip and a weird nose but I didn't notice any of those things. My confidence still needs work but where I am now compared to where I was can't be more different. Sometimes makeup is a mask I wear to hide behind but more often now it is a way of expressing my personality- of saying who I am, making an statement that I am not afraid. I finally feel like me.